So a question we've been asked a lot is why did we choose adoption? Which by the way we don't mind the question, as long as it's asked in a kind way, which it usually is. The problem is it's sort of hard to answer. All I can really say is that it's what God intended us to do. I guess I could say it's because I've always wanted to, or because Cam had so many issues at birth, or because I hate being pregnant. These are all true staements, but really it's because it's what God had planned for us all along. Most people have their children grow inside them, our chosen child just happens to be in China.
Another question we sometimes get (not as often) is why special needs, why cleft lip/palate? Again all I can really say again is it's God's plan. We are supposed to be Jack's parents, that is all I know for sure.
I can tell you that this has been the most amazing, incredible journey. I have never felt so close to God, nor have I questioned one decision that has been made. We have been given so many signs that we are on the right path. This process, which is just at its beginning ,has taught me so much. It has given me faith in mankind, it has inspired me, and it has adjusted my perspective.
Through this process we have received a free freezer from a total stranger (as an adoption gift). We've met other people with children that have cleft lip/palate. These perfect strangers have spent the time to communicate with me with words of knowledge and encouragement. We've spent time with an agency that only cared about money, and another one that really cares about kids. We have gained a further appreciation of the fact that money is really not everything. We have been amazed by the support of our friends and family. We have learned what faith trully is.
Beyond that from the moment that we saw Jack's picture both of us completely knew he was our son. There really was no questions or doubts. God set it up to be just like that. He put us on a journey where we hit many walls and lots of frustration just so that we would have Jack. It's so easy to see now. We started with a China adoption seeking a healthy girl. As the wait climbed and climbed. The bug of special needs adoption came to me. Meanwhile our neighbors received a referral for a special needs girl from Vietnam. We decided we could handle some minor special needs. We started to sign up for the waiting child's program. On our list were a variety of things not including cleft lip/palate. We weren't sure we wanted something that involved. Just then the program changed and we were not comfortable with it. At that point we decided to do something else. Try to adopt from another country. In comes bad agency. We started our Kaz adoption. We hit every wall possible. It never felt right to me. All the while I was researching special needs. I learned about the many children who never got cleft lip/palate repaired, and about how many babies died from malnutrition. I cried over the pictures of starving infants, all because they didn't have medical care. I talked to others who explained that it was a lot of work, but never regretted it. I felt a calling. Meanwhile, I also learned that there were way more boys than girls that needed adopted. I found out that 98% of Americans adopting want girls. I thought a girl would be nice since I didn't have one, but I knew that I wouldn't ask for one. How could I? Knowing that there were all those beautiful boys needing a home. In the midst of my researching, we learned that all of our paperwork for Kaz was going to expire before it even made it to Kaz, and we found out they only had four year olds available. We decided we were going down the wrong path (duh, wrong country). We went back to our other agency where they had adjusted the waiting program to something we were comfortable with. We updated our list of special needs, including cleft lip/palate. We also included either gender. I was pretty sure we'd end up with a boy with cleft lip/palate, and that was totally fine with me! One day later (yes, that's right) we received our referral for Jack. From there on our process has simply flown by. We received pre approval a week later, LOA less than two months later, and TA after about a month. We will leave in three weeks. The entire process took about 4 months. Quite amazing after the year and a half of nothing going right. But, not really that amazing it was just what God planned. He wanted us to be ready for Jack, and we are!