Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Leaving in 11 hours

So in 11 hours we'll be on our way. The range of emotions I have our well, a little psychotic. I'm so excited. I can't believe we finally made it. We decided to adopt over two years ago. We started the process officially 21 months ago. I have never worked so hard on anything or put so much faith in God. I really am in disbelief that we're actually at one finish line and yet at the start of a new race. I can't say I'm anxious I'm really not. I feel like this whole process has been in God's hands and we'll continue to be. Anything I have to worry about is out of my hands. We have done everything in our power and the rest is meant to be. I know that Jack may come with a host of issues, but I also know he was meant to be with us. Whatever challenges there are we'll be there to help him. I can't wait to start our journey.

I am however so sad that I'm leaving my two babies. As I put them to bed for the last time for 16 days I cried my eyes out. I rocked Cam a long time tonight, and as I put him in the bad he stuck his hand out waved and said I wuv you. Ethan gave me a big hug and I could see he was a bit sad. I probably won't get to say good bye in the morning because they'll still be asleep. It breaks my heart to know Cam will be calling my name in the morning and I won't be there. I know that they'll be fine and that there in the best hands they can be in. However, I can't help but be sad. I have never been away from my boys for more than a few nights. I rocked Cam to sleep every night for the first 18 months of his life. He's my baby. I think Ethan understands what is happening, but 16 days is a long time. My heart is breaking knowing I will miss 16 days of reading to him, 16 days of listening to his rendition of the Polar Express theme song, and watching him pretend his little potty is Walley (don't ask!) I'm trying to get this out of my head so that I can soak in every minute of our trip, but it's really a challenge.

Those that are following us I have a few prayer requests. Please pray that my boys know how much they're loved and that they understand that we're coming home as soon as we can. That I will be able to not worry too much abouot them and be able to experience a trip most people never get to do. That we have safe travels. That God is with us through the whole process. That our new race is one that we are ready for. Thanks to everyone who is helping us, supporting us, and praying for us. See you in 16 days!

1 comment:

Heather said...

I am praying for you and all of your requests! I can totally relate to your feelings...it is hard to reconcile being so excited you can't stand it and yet so sad to leave your little ones behind. Once you are really on your journey there in country, you'll miss them here, but be so busy that time flies. I promise.
I can not wait to see pictures of Jack...I've been thinking about you guys all morning as I got Will ready for the bus!!!! Sending my love to China...can't wait to hear that you are there.